These Situations are led by an inner conflict.
In the parts of our lifes, where we are doing or not doing something, where we actually want the opposite of that, we find two or more different parts of our selves battleing with each other.
Frustrations like why cant i stop with that thing i want to change? Why do i slip in again and again?
Lead to feelings of shame, powerlessnes and resentness.
It seems like the more you push against it, the bigger the bounceback is, like stretching a rubberband fast with power and then slipping off.
We often demonize this part in us that is giving into the reactiveness, habit, addiction..
To break through that, we first need to break down into it.
To understand the depth of that aspects in us, we need to see,
That actually, Nothing in us is Against us. But everything in us is working for us.
These demonized parts, are aspects in our selves which are desperately want to have your attention, because what they want/need (FOR you and them) is urgent to them.
Specially because they are met with so much resistance.
So: in this destructive habit, reactive cycle, addiction, There is a hidden need. The actions are made with the intention of that part to fulfill that hidden need.
1. Visualize that part of your self, as see how it looks to you. What are the main caracteristics?
2. Now shrink that part of yourself into a baby, you as a child,or a baby cat, puppy. or whatever
touches you heart (With that we soften the blame, shame and fear, demonisation of that aspect in you)
3. Look at the habit, addiction, reactive cycle that aspect keeps on enganging in.
What feeling does it benefit from that situation? What does it try to get from there?
4. Ask that aspect of you directly «What do you really need?»
5. Listen deeply and acknoledge the answer
6. How can i give that to you?
7. Follow that guidance and nurture that part like a loving parent
This Part might reappear after that, tell it to give you a symbol or a hint that need comes up again and may need a few more sessions to be nurtured, after that long time of supression.
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